Don't Ever Leave Me
by windowlight
Summary: Sai had Kaede. And she was her everything… But nobody can have everything. Shoujo ai. SaiKaede
1. CHAPTER 1: Promise

Title: Don't Leave Me Alone

Author: Window's Light

Story Type: Fanfiction – Angelic Layer

Genre: Romance, Tragedy

Rating: PG-13 ('cuz it's shoujo ai)

Chapters: I have no clue…

Disclaimer: I do not own Angelic Layer. A talented all-girl manga team called CLAMP does.

Summary: Sai had Kaede. And she was her everything… But nobody can have everything. Shoujo ai. SaiKaede

Author's Notes:

1. I haven't seen the whole series. I don't exactly know how Sai or Kaede acts or feels. So please forgive me if they are OOC.

2. English is not my primary language. I'm Filipino. So please forgive me if there are any grammatical errors seen within this fic.

3. I can't imagine Sai and Kaede doing anything beyond just plain shoujo ai… It's creepy. They're not the type of persons who would do such stuff.

4. I don't like Suzuhara. I'm just watching the show for Sai and Kaede.

5. Hatoko is very cute. Especially when she sneezes.

6. I like sugary cereals mixed with super condensed sweet milk.

7. I also like snacking on brown sugar.

8. I have diabetes.

9. This is my first Angelic Layer fic. Please be nice.

10. Reviews would be greatly appreciated.

Oh yeah, special thanks to my two classmates and long-time friends Marie-chelle and Ara for editing! Luv ya!

CHAPTER 1: "Promise"

"Sai-san?"

Sai did not reply verbally but instead shifted her head up to look at a young lady with glasses sitting in front of her across the table.

"Is everything ok?"

She sipped her coffee and said, "Why do you ask?"

"You've been very quiet since we arrived here."

"I'm always quiet, Kaede-san." She put down her mug and started typing on the laptop she had at her right. It was displaying the image of her angel, Shirahime. She had come over to Kaede's to work together with their dolls again. It had been their usual routine for some time now.

"Sai-san is quiet sometimes. But Sai-san looks down today." Kaede had used the third person again (it's cute .). She liked doing that for some reason, especially when she's talking to Sai.

"I'm fine Kaede-san. Don't worry." Sai finished typing and shut the laptop down. "Are you done eating?"

"Sai-san is not paying attention to her surroundings anymore. I finished already. I even cleaned up her plates." She smiled.

"Sorry. Maybe I'm just a bit sleepy." Sai explained, blushing a little while looking away from the other girl.

"Then we should go to bed then." Kaede stood up from her chair and reached for Sai's coffee mug. "Coffee will make it harder to sleep, Sai-san."

"Yeah, I guess. I didn't really think I would get some sleep tonight."

"Just because it's a weekend doesn't mean you shouldn't sleep, Sai-san. It's bad for your health."

It's bad for your health.

That simple statement sent flashbacks flowing though Sai's mind. She used to tell her sister, Rin, those words. But no matter how much she cared for her, no matter how much she poured every ounce of her time and attention to her, and no matter how much she loved her, she was still taken away from her.

Sai was not able to do anything. That's what frustrated her. She couldn't save Rin. So it all came to the point that she would blame herself and become the Ice Machine she was now.

"Sai-san?"

Kaede's soft voice snapped Sai from her trance.

"Sorry Kaede-san. I'm getting a bit dizzy. I think we should rest now."

"Of course Sai-san. You can go ahead. I'll just clean up here." And she smiled. That enigmatic smile that people had dubbed "Heaven's Smile". It was the right term for it, Sai had always thought. She had always seen Kaede as a gift from heaven. An angel who took her sister's place.

Indeed, Kaede is an angel.

She was Sai's savior. She had saved Sai from that large thick ice that surrounded her, melting it down until it would completely disappear.

She was Sai's guardian. She never left Sai's side since that day when fate had decided to strip her naked of all she had.

She was Sai's everything. Without her, that fragile little girl inside Sai would be lost. Without her, that path ahead that Sai was looking forward to follow would disappear.

Without her…

The world would crumble into ashes.

"Kaede…" Sai had suddenly said without thinking while setting a white futon on the wooden floor. She was not able to add the honorific that she usually used with the girl's name.

"Hai? Sai-san?" Kaede said while putting her comb back in the dresser. Her hair was down, not in its usual braid, with soft brown curls resting upon her small shoulders.

Sai laid down on her futon and turned her back.

"…You won't ever leave me alone… won't you?"

Kaede was a little surprised with the sudden question, but curled her lips and lowered her shoulders in an understanding smile nonetheless.

"…Of course not." She finally answered, though her voice was a little small.

"Please. Don't ever leave me alone Kaede, please."

"Sai-san…" Kaede smiled understandingly. She walked towards Sai's resting form and bent down to place a kiss on the girl's forehead. "I won't leave you alone. I promise…"

Kaede stood up straight and turned the lights off.

"Good night, Sai…"

"You too, Kaede…"


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Don't Ever Leave Me

Author: Window's Light

Story Type: Fanfiction – Angelic Layer

Genre: Romance, Tragedy

Rating: PG-13 ('cuz it's shoujo ai)

Chapters: I have no clue…

Disclaimer: I do not own Angelic Layer. A talented all-girl manga team called CLAMP does.

Summary: Sai had Kaede. And she was her everything… But nobody can have everything. Shoujo ai. SaiKaede

Author's Notes:

1. I give to you the second chapter!

2. Hope you liked the first chappie. I know it's too short. And I think this chapter is too. Sorry, school's been hell and I'm really slow on coming up with ideas to write about.

3. There were errors on the 1st chapter… like the title -.- … It was the original title but I decided to change it. Unfortunately, I forgot to change the title in the story text. Sorry. V ...I was also unable to put divisions there. Sorry again.

4. Reviews would be greatly appreciated!

Special thanks to my two classmates and long-time friends Marie-chelle and Ara for editing! Luv ya!

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CHAPTER 2: "Self-Confession: I Don't Deserve You"

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Sai had woken up earlier than Kaede. She fixed herself some breakfast and sat down to eat. It took her about five minutes to stop staring at the food and start eating.

She didn't like what happened last night. She wasn't thinking straight then. The Ice Machine had admitted that she, like all others, needs someone. The Ice Machine had showed emotion. One she hated the most. Fear. Fear of being alone.

Ever since she was a child, she never really liked showing emotions.

Only to Rin. And now, to Kaede.

She remembered when she was at kindergarten. How she always sat on top of a wall near the school playground watching how children her age ran around and laughed, and how this brave little boy had asked her to play with him and his friends.

"I don't play."

"It's ok if you don't know how. We can teach you!"

"I mean, I _don't_ play."

Sai didn't mean that she didn't know how to play, that she didn't want to play, or that she was not allowed to play. She had simply meant that she doesn't play. Like how cats and dogs don't fly, or like how trees don't walk. She simply doesn't play.

"Sai-san?" Kaede called while she was stepping gently down the stairs. She was wearing glasses now and her hair was braided again. "Gomen-ne."

"For what?" Sai replied, not turning her head around to see the girl, and taking a bite from the toasted bread in her hand.

"I was not able to wake up earlier to make breakfast."

"It's ok. It's not really something you should be sorry for."

"Hai…" Kaede continued walking past Sai to the kitchen area. "What would you like to eat?"

"It's fine. I'm good."

"Sai-san should eat plenty of food especially at breakfast."

Sai was not able to make the words clear in her mind. She was too busy staring at Kaede's back.

"Sai-san?" Kaede turned her head around and just before she could notice the other girl staring at her, Sai averted her eyes elsewhere.

"Uh, anything, would be fine… with me…" She fumbled at the words, blushing a little while saying them.

"Sai-san is not acting normal today. Even last night. Is there anything wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong… I'm fine."

"Sai-san…"

Hearing her very concerned voice, Sai fixed her eyes upon Kaede's face whose features were somewhat a little uneasy.

"I'm just thinking a lot lately. Nothing serious."

Kaede walked towards Sai and leaned on the table while putting a hand on Sai's forehead. Kaede was that kind of person. She never stops worrying and caring for everybody. She was a mother to everyone.

"You're not sick or anything."

"I told you Kaede-san. I'm fine." Sai said, blushing at the very small gap between her face and Kaede's.

"Sai-san… Please don't hesitate to tell me if there's something wrong, ok?"

"Of course Kaede-san."

Tell her? It was not that easy as she thinks. Sai could never tell Kaede what she was feeling. No. She couldn't risk loosing the closest and only friend she had for something _that_ stupid and selfish.

She had felt that feeling for some time now. She didn't how, why, or when it started eating her, she just knew that it was.

_I love you Kaede_, Sai had repeated those words for more than a million times in her head. But they never really got anywhere outside her own dream world.

Yes, Sai loved Kaede. But not just some friendly or sisterly love, it was something that –only- a _man _should feel towards a girl.

But Sai was not a man.

And Kaede deserved to have a man in her life. She deserved to marry him, have children with him, and become the mother she always longed to be.

On the other hand, even if Kaede did love Sai back, Sai would just press on that she was no one who could make her happy. Kaede was kind, beautiful and smart, she didn't deserve to be talked about or hated by shallow homophobic people.

Sai just kept every bit of feeling she had for Kaede inside that cold barrier she had built around her self.

_I love you Kaede._

_But I don't deserve you._

_And I never will._


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Don't Ever Leave Me

Author: windowlight

Story Type: Fanfiction – Angelic Layer

Genre: Romance, Tragedy

Rating: PG-13 ('cuz it's shoujo ai)

Chapters: I have no clue…

Disclaimer: I do not own Angelic Layer. A talented all-girl manga team called CLAMP does.

Summary: Sai had Kaede. And she was her everything… But nobody can have everything. Shoujo ai. SaiKaede

Author's Notes:

1. Umm… the third chapter so far is the shortest. It's just about one scene that won't stop spinning inside my head.

2. I'm deciding whether to put any sexual contact between Sai and Kaede or not. Please help T.T … They would be very OOC if I did, but it would be less fun if I didn't

Special thanks to my two classmates and long-time friends Marie-chelle and Ara for editing! Luv ya!

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CHAPTER 3: "To Make You Happy, My Everything"

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Sai and Kaede had just finished practicing at the local Piffle Princess and had gone straight to a nearby restaurant. The place was western, with classical tables and chairs, beautifully decorated cream-colored curtains, human-size ornamental plants, and small golden chandeliers dangling from the wooden ceiling. But Kaede had suggested taking one of the tables outside so as not to waste the good weather they were having. The bright afternoon sun was out, without a single cloud blocking its rays.

"The sky seems to be very clear today," Kaede looked up through the shadows of the large umbrella over their table, "Ne, Sai-san?" She shifted her head back down to Sai.

"Of course Kaede-san…" Sai replied, resting her back on the chair, "What would you want to eat?" She said, seeing a waiter approaching their table.

"Anything would be fine." She smiled, knowing that Sai would again insist on paying for both their meals.

Sai ordered and told Kaede what she had been expecting. Kaede didn't know why Sai always did that. She just accepted her offers, knowing how stubborn Sai can get sometimes.

"Is there something on my face?" Sai said as she noticed Kaede staring at her, a palm under her chin and soft feminine fingers over her cheek.

"Gomen Sai-san." Kaede smiled at her, not feeling embarrassed or such, "I didn't mean to stare. It's just that you reminded me of something."

"What? What did I remind you of?"

Kaede smiled warmly and put her other hand under her chin, "The spring."

Sai stared at her, a bit confused of the connection between spring and her eating.

Kaede had just replied with a smile.

Spring. Sai had never thought of comparing her self to spring. Spring means happiness. It comes after the cold harsh winter, which was the exact thing she can compare her self to.

If spring was to be compared with someone, it should be none other than Kaede. The White Angel who melted the Ice Machine's heart. The one who brought spring to Sai, teaching her how to be happy once again after loosing everything, how to live again after she had once died.

"I don't understand why you always tell me things to cheer me up."

"I don't understand why you always pay for my bill to make me happy."

They stared at each other for a long time. The wind blew across their table, caressing their hair and skin. Kaede smiled. The full force of Heaven's smile. Calm, yet in a way, very intense. Sai couldn't feel any happier. Another silent yet comforting company with her was all she needed. She smiled back, an action only Kaede had ever seen.

_Everything else in the world did not matter._

_Because Kaede herself…_

…_is more than everything to me._


End file.
